Amazing News

Vans Wared Tour, 2008.
7/11 Tampa, FL

So. Lets look at this:

A Day to Remember		jun 20 - jul 20
Against Me!		whole tour

Angels and Airwaves	whole tour
As I Lay Dying	jun 20 - jul 18

The Briggs

whole tour

Everytime I Die	whole tour
The Fabulous Rudies	whole tour
Family Force 5	whole tour except 6/19, 6/20, 6/26, 7/2, 7/12, 8/8

From First to Last

whole tour

Maylene and the Sons of Disaster jun 20 - jul 18
MC Chris whole tour
Pennywise whole tour
Reel Big Fish whole tour
Set Your Goals whole tour
The Vandals whole tour





MY GOD.

Pinch me. Wheres my brown paper bag?

Something Profound.

Wake up.
Breathe.
Cough.
Clear your throat.
Sit up.
Think.

Youre only human.

Cigarettes are on the table.
Lighter.
Catharsis.
Irony.
Shoes: On.
Stand up.
Walk out.
Get in.
Drive.

With 20,000 lines left to go.

Park.
Sit.
Wait.
Survey.
Run.
Climb.
Run.
Hide.
Protest.

Post No Bills.


Lights.
Sirens.
Invisible.
Run.
Climb.
Drive.
Breathe.

Out causing trouble again?

Embrace.
Affection.
Intercourse.
Release.
Affection.
Embrace.

Rinse. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

10 days ago

was the last time I decided to write in this thing.
Why does so much happen in so little time.
I could go on about this, but when I've got to funnel so much into what little time I have, its hard.
If there were a way that I didnt have to ever sleep and still be healthy, I'd do it.
I'd say "sign me up", and become a sleepless machine.

The average human sleeps 1/3 of their life away.

If only I could be above average in that department.
Break convention and completely sort things out.
Like a room, my minds a mess at times.
Theres things lying about that need to be picked up, put away.
Friends I always promise to see, and never get the chance to.
People I always feel the urge to catch up with.
Work to do.
Things to watch, play, read.
Art to make, photos to take, pictures to draw.
Music, music, music.

You see?

I need to change something in my schedule.
I know I'm not going to school this summer.
I know I'm going to spread work around.

About work: surprise! I'm transferring.
I really dont enjoy Waters and Anderson any more.
Dont get me wrong, it's not the people. I love the employees, the regulars, but the ideas and the way its run is just shit.
I dont know. I couldnt tell you why if you asked.

So I'm just sitting here in bed mulling through what needs to come out.
There are times when I do have a way with words, and times when I just fumble.

Turn over.

All in all, I am happy. I have a great girlfriend. Friends that love me. Things to do.
People to see. Always.

Always.

This gave me a good chuckle. I love the shit that Stumble Upon brings me sometimes.

Afterword:
I've felt really inspired to do art lately. All art. Spray art. Wheat pasting. Drawing.
I want a couple new tattoos. I think I'm just going to go for it.
Reader, if youre actually reading this, and enjoying what I have to say, I appreciate you.
I know that sometimes it might be mindless rambling.
Or a slightly bitchy rant.
But know, that youre special.

Also, appreciate Banksy:

Youve dropped every line but they dont mean a thing.

Rough Draft

Please tell me, dear darling
How great do you feel,
With words you recycled
heart on the table to steal.
With my hammer and pry
I'll crack into your shell
another day of this heat
and were walking through...
eggshells.

So put your eyes in my hands
I'll set my feet in your shoes
A problem like this
Cant be fixed with any tools.

But please,
Dont do this to me.
We're only so free.
Dont waste it in though
This time act on your feet.
They say,
What love without faith,
and whats faith without heart?
But when both are void
then its a still-born start.
Dont hide,
From the demons that
haunted your past.
Its a flat footed relay
and youre next on the pass.
Youre heading off track,
and youve got the whole
team in tow.
Youre just fleeing the scene
theyre behind, trading blows.

So put your eyes in my hands,
I'll slip my feet in your shoes.
when you choke down your options
You'll have nothing to lose.

So drop,
dead as a stone
are the words of your home
fly,
away from yourself
[to be continued]

I kept promising myself

To write.
Write.
Write something profound.

JJ and I are starting an experimental musical project.

Think Brand New + Spill Canvas + Acoustic writings.

And I promised myself my next post would be the rough draft for a song.
So my next post, not this one, will be.
In fact, It will probably happen tonight, before Josh and Beth come to get me.

More photos tonight, as well.
THAT, I am excited for.

Everything else is amazing.
Friends. School. And even my newfound relationship.
This weekend will be excellent, despite all of my closing shifts.
In any case.
I'm off to see the wizard.

The end has come. The end is nigh.
Extremely fucking nigh.

Repent.

I dont wanna see the day,

my words cannot make it safe.
Her heart, in my hands.
It's too bad.
No regrets.

I wont disappear.
Don't you worry.
I think youve just finally given up.
Or you still havent made up your mind, quite yet.
Heart and mind have a connection here, for once.
One can lead the other, just depends on which agrees with the other.

It's a big game of follow the leader.
Remember, life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think.

It's just a giant see-saw sitting in front of you, isnt it?
A giant balance scale.

When all you wanted was for me to be happy.
And I am. I really, totally, finally, wholly am.
And now youre not?

And life is great again.
And I wake up every single day with a smile.
And go to sleep with a smile.
Just stop beating yourself up over it.
I did, a while ago.

Thats right, readers. I said it.
And I've just been so great lately.
Catching back up with 2 of my best friends that I really havent gotten to spend much time with in a while.
Eric, I'm glad we have the connection we have now. I know you probably dont read this, but I'm so thankful that your girlfriend introduced Kay and I.
Eh, I told her that too.
Josh, I'm glad youre calling me more.
Sorry work and school keeps me so damn busy.
I think I'm going to cut back on hours just to relieve some stress for me.
That'd be really nice.

Anyway, I went off on a tangent there.

But now you know how I feel.


Nothing is impossible.

I can be harsh at times.

Brash.
Crude.
But thats only when I'm pushed past my limit.
You attack, and attack, and attack, and you don't expect me to attack back?
Its like cornering an animal and not expecting it to try and escape.

I'm not mad, don't get me wrong.
I'm well past the days of getting mad.
Thats the old me.
I'm not mad, I'm tactful. I'm not mad, I'm simply giving my input. Using my weapons of choice.
You have secrets of your past that you think I'd be afraid to hear?
Honestly, I'm not afraid.
I'm glad that she's at least heard some of my past.
I could sit there and just tell it in installments.
I'm an open book.
Youre a closed door.

When did you start selling doors?
When people started closing windows.


There is always hope.

You can't understand exactly how I feel, because youre not at the recieving end.
You're holding the rod.
I cut the fishing line a long time ago.
I'm way gone, bait in hand now.
And you're just gazing at the water.
At your reflection. Wondering how you got like this.
You're strong, you're just not the right kind of strong.
And in the wrong moment, that could just be your downfall.

Never trust anyone to the point where your back is exposed.

Oh yeah. Also, DONT SAY "I QUIT."

Glad.

That you finally gave in. Caved.

I watched the weight of your world cave in to crush you.
And do you want to know what I think?
That caving, as much as I hate to say it, is weight off of my shoulders. I was waiting for you to just come out and say it. I was willing to show patience. Whats the reciprocation? Lies. Stringing along.

You might as well have dragged me behind a truck.

let's take this outside so i can make another scene. i'll burn it on you, burn every bit of energy. dare to resist it. dare to be irresistible. i'd like to keep you right here always and forever. uncomplicated. we both know i can be unpredictable. i'll keep this from ever getting old. erase vertigo. i'm not far from home.

You want fights? Arguments? Somebody to treat you like a jerk?
Thats not right. Thats just programmed into your head that it is. Look elsewhere.

Bad timing at the least is right.
Youre friends with Chris because he knows when its okay to put you down. Guess I should just get to know you better.

/rant.

Anywho. No spite from you, please. Lower your defenses again. Because I for one, believe in second chances.

just get me back to where i can watch you sleep,
where i can feel comfortable in my own skin.
heaven knows no one else can do that for me.

I need a hug.

So my mind is racing

And I dont know where to start again:
-I really want to work on honing my red deck.
-I think I can win more with it if I try harder
-I have a lot of clothes, I should get rid of my old ones.
-People would go thrifting and find them, and get soooo excited.
-I have some pretty awesome old t-shirts.
-I think thats me though. I dont collect much, but t-shirts and cool clothes, I love to find.
-I need a hoodie. A good new trusty hoodie. As soona s my deposit goes through I'm definitely getting the RBF one.
-I keep telling myself to pick up playing bass again. When will I actually get the chance?
-I am already burnt out on this semester. I feel so far behind. :[
-I've had a lot of stress lately. I dont know what to do. Oh wait, yes. I do*

Tonight was great.
Today was just good, in general.
I took another day off to sleep in, and really get things taken care of with my car.
Next: Get it running from Rich to good.
After: Get James and Bryan to help me hook the car up.

It was a relaxing day. Largo was great. James was pretty funny, as were the other dudes.
I was happy to see you.
I have a lot of questions for you, though.
Maybe I'll come back tomorrow.

*Youre nuts. I cant take it. I think that you should just sit and sort your shit out for once. I dont even think I can help. I'm done.

You took the easy way out when I gave you something to stand for.

I was just another promise, that you couldnt keep.

And I'm so tired

And I'm so burnt out.
And I'm so confused.

I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every panda that wouldn't screw to save it's species.

And I dont know where to start. Maybe in the middle:
-I wish I knew what to tell you, because there is way too much running through my head. But that will never ever be able to surpass the amount of things youre thinking. I think I'll never get you. And before it was a challenge I wanted to take on, now I think it's something I've just. . . accepted. And yet, maybe not. Because part of me still really does miss you. I cant just accept the fact that I'll never be able to understand you, because I dont think you get you sometimes. I mean, unless I'm patient once more and can just wait it out. Who knows, maybe youve made changes. Maybe youre ready to invest for faith, truth, belief, trust, communication, visible affection, and reciprocation into a relationship. If thats the case, it'd be great to know. If thats just not you, and if thats not what you feel to be important in a relationship, then I dont know. Maybe its a talk we still need to just sit down and have. It'd be a long one. If you could find the words.

I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother those French beaches I'd never see.

Beginning: God mother fucking Christ ass hole dammit. You need to make up your mind. Sort your fucking life out. If you continue with the stress you let get to you, then the end is nigh. And it's not like I can just be dragged along. Because thats even worse. I'm not a toy, and I'm not just going to be here for you when you need affection. You tell me you want to give me the attention I deserve and then in turn, treat me like youre ready to give it to me. For a day.
Whatever.

I wanted to breathe smoke.

End:
Thats it. /rant.

You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake.

You are the all singing, all dancing crap of the world.

And it feels like

I'm at an all time low. Slightly bruised and broken, from our head on collision.

Ouch. You know, theres never really such thing as rushing too fast into anything, you just need to look before you leap. But plunging feet first into the deep end could be just as dangerous as head first into the shallows.
Make up your mind before you speak, for that matter. I know what you want, and I know what you need, but just come out with it. Because, you also know, but you just need to sort everything out.
I cant stand idle forever, though. I know that its what you'd like, but not even having a glimpse of the end of your troubles is what worries me. I know you'd like to pursue things, because otherwise you wouldnt have asked me to keep holding on, but I'm not a yo-yo. Expecting me to bounce back when you need it isnt what I'm good for.
I hope you read this, and I hope this makes sense to you.

And as for you, thanks for visiting.
And the retarded candy. [that I felt so guilty enjoying. It's like watching the porn that you dont want anyone to know you watch. Lawl]
I'm sure you had a lot you wanted to say, but at the same time, I dont know you did.
I mean, you did drive all the way to my job, wait an hour, and then talked like we never had issues. If you want to talk, please tell me you want to talk.
I was half expecting it, actually.
But thats you, quiet in the heat of the moment.
I didnt know what to say, because I didnt know what you wanted to hear.
It was great seeing you.

I'm sorry readers, that I have been stressed lately.
Even I have shit that I need to sort out.

Sort this out on your own time.